A Hot Mess!: November 2006

Tales from the D-list

Thursday, November 30, 2006
These pictures were taken at the premiere for MTV's new reality show, Twentyfourseven. Now I don't really know what this show is about/don't really care, and since it seems like MTV will give a show to anyone these days (can someone direct my attention to the people who watch Rob & Big?) I don't think I'll be missing much. These photos are worth a thousand words and then some in terms of what kind of programming it will be:

Cast of Twentyfourseven

Brody Jenner and Lauren Conrad. Didn't know they were still dating. Again, don't really care.

Kelly Monaco

Kim "I Was Dumped For The Black Gwyneth Paltrow" Kardashian

Gastineau Girl Brittny

And it wouldn't be a D-list event without Meagan Good showing up in clown makeup and looking just off, in general. It's sad that the only non-reality star there is her. I can't decide if this or the Wii event was packed with more nobodies.

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Is Jared Leto bi-sexual?

As if the madness about Jared Leto dating Myspace whore/no-talent singer Tila Tequila wasn't enough, now there's a blind item that hints that the actor may be bi-sexual--one of his ex-lovers being none other than young Chicago socialite Patrique:
Which male socialite recently slammed a social networking vixen claiming he wanted to "protect artist's rights" but was really just mad at reports that said vixen hooked up with his bisexual celebrity actor ex.

(Blind Ace)

Check out Patrique's blog protesting Tila Tequila's "unsigned artist" status on Myspace.

This is a mess! Why are these people famous? And yes, I'm including Jared Leto in that statement. I mean Requiem for a Dream was good and all but really, what else has he done that you gave a shit about? And if anyone says My So-Called Life, I will fall out. Oh, and for a good laugh, check out the song on Patrique's Myspace. LMFAO! That person who commented on the blog was on-point when he said it sounded like a horribly dubbed Britney Spears song.

Shout out to Khia for the heads up!

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LL Cool J on Jay-Z & 50 Cent

When Jay-Z came out of retirement, he left many people dissapointed. Sure, he pleased many of his fans, but some folks just weren't having it. Enter: LL Cool J. LL, who has led Def Jam to a fortune since his debut, is ready to leave and he's blaming Jigga.

"How am I gonna re-sign with competition? I'm not a idiot," he said of his President Carter. "I can't depend on that man to promote my record while he's somewhere writing rhymes. ... I'm LL Cool J. I ain't doing that, B."

Fret not. LL may even stay...for the right price.

"I would rock with Def Jam if they wrote a big enough check," he told MTV, with a laugh. "Me and Jay would be on that yacht like, 'Hov! Hov! Write that check, homie.' "

His next album, executive produced by 50 Cent, may have some of his R&B loving listeners shocked.

"I'm absolutely going to pulverize these cats...It's going to be hysterical. It's like a Mama Said Knock You Out type of record or Mr. Smith type of record. It's a very good record. My last three records were R&B and more of me getting kinda into the emotional side of what I do. This is the aggressive side. Just ego. I'm getting into the party free, regardless. We unlocking the back door and sneaking 50 people in. This album, I'mma do a little street-corner joint. Smack them around, turn 'em upside down and shake the change out their pockets."

LL also knows fans may be wondering why he has chosen to roll with 50. He explained that as well.

"We're from Queens. We're seven years apart in age. He knows what I'm into. We come from the same experience, so the music reflects that. And let's face it, 50 reminds me of a place I was in awhile ago. I have been running around on tours. I have been in the suites, and I haven't been on the blocks smelling like Guinness lately. It's fun to work with somebody who rekindles those flames and makes me hungry again. It's definitely working."

LL is also working on an upcoming mixtape project. Stay tuned.


Now listen, I agree with what LL is saying about Jay-Z putting himself first, but he lost me when he started talking about "taking it back to the old LL" or whatever. He knows he needs to stop. He is pushing 40 (is he 40 now?) and has been doing love songs for the past 10 years. People are not going to be buying it. Oh, and 50 Cent blows so there's another reason why this new album will be trash.

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50 calls Oprah an Oreo

OPRAH Winfrey is really an Oreo - black on the outside but white on the inside, according to 50 Cent. In the January issue of Elle, the rapper says Winfrey "started out with black women's views but has been catering to middle-aged white American women for so long that she's become one herself. I think the idea of being publicly noted that she's a billionaire makes [black women] interested in seeing her views. But it's even more exciting to the demographic of white American women she's been aiming at to see that she has the exact same views that they have."

What the hell is 50 Cent doing in Elle anyway?

And here are some pictures of Britney Spears looking H.A.M.-ing it up. I cannot believe she is over here trying to fight for custody for her kids but goes out everynight looking a fucking wreck. I think she's on blow now.

Look at her shirt. It doesn't even fit and i'm tired of seeing her wear weave that looks like she got it from Kim's and Thangs on Martin Luther King Ave.

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New Beyoncé video - "Listen"

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Lead single for the Dreamgirls soundtrack. I guess if she doesn't get her actress nod, I'm sure this will win Oscar song of the year. I wanna know why she's doing the shoulder lean to a ballad, though? Her ass was hopping all over that stage for no good reason.

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Throwback video of the day

Tuesday, November 28, 2006
"The Things That You Do (Bad Boy Remix)"

Gina Thompson feat. Missy Elliott (1996)

Gina is cute in this. Missy, on the other hand... I'm not even going to comment 'cuz for one thing I know I don't even have to. I don't know where Gina's walking to but she's doing it with sass and conviction! This song is still hot. Cameos by Biggie, Puff and Rodney Jerkins, who produced her entire album, in this video.

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Got what it takes to drop it like it's hot for Beyoncé?

Attention all hoochies and gay men! Beyoncé is on a search for new background dancers - men and women of all nationalities ages 18+, according to the singer's official website. If you're interested in getting paid to do the "uh-oh" dance (who isn't?), check out the auditions in one of these major metropolitan areas near you:

Los Angeles - Alley Kat Studio (December 6, 7)

Atlanta - Dance 101 Studio (December 9)

Houston - TBA (January 6)

New York - TBA (January 11, 12)

Chicago - TBA (January 27)

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Tracy Morgan Busted For Drunk Driving

TMZ has learned that "30 Rock" star Tracy Morgan was busted for drunk driving early this morning in New York.

Police sources tell TMZ the comedian/actor was stopped at 4:38 AM in the Bronx after cops noticed he was driving erratically. According to the police report, Morgan "was unable to maintain a position in a lane of traffic."

Morgan was taken to the 33rd Precinct and charged with Driving While Intoxicated.

This is Morgan's second drunk driving arrest. He's currently on probation in Los Angeles for a D.U.I. conviction. The latest arrest could constitute a violation of Morgan's probation and, as a result, he could face jail time in both L.A. and New York.

Morgan's rep was not immediately available for comment.

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Sony Urban capsizes

Monday, November 27, 2006

According to reports, SonyBMG is planning to dismantle it's Sony Urban Music division, with layoffs at the label coming just before the holiday season.

Layoffs at the label are scheduled to start some time this week. According to the New York Post some of Sony Urban's 70 employees will be reassigned to other labels within SonyBMG starting on or around December 1.

The conglomerate has an interest in a number of ventures, including Arista Records, Epic Records, Columbia Records, J Records, RCA Records, RCA Records and others.

Artists on Sony Urban, which include DMX, Three Six Mafia, Beyoncé, Bow Wow, Omarion, John Legend, Amerie and others, will be reassigned to the Epic and Columbia labels.

Layoffs at SonyBMG started last week in the classical music division.


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Damn Furunda. Damn.

Furunda Brasfield The 75th Annual Hollywood Christmas Parade. I saw a picture of her over at JuiicyScoop so I had to find more. She is on some other shit and so are her friends for letting her walk out of the house like this. I don't know what it is but she really does look like a crackhead. I had to do a double take because I thought she had on some Adidas flip flops and socks on the red carpet. It looks like she's going to the Winter Formal at Booker T. Washington Middle.

Edit: She wasn't the only one looking bad!


Monique Coleman.

Kim Wayans and ...Thugaboo. I don't think Kim looks bad in the face. She actually looks great. So great that I won't say anything about her outfit

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Throwback video of the day

Saturday, November 25, 2006
Hey all, we fell off a bit for the Thanksgiving holiday (hope everyone's went well, by the way) but I promise we'll be back soon. To whet your whistle a little, here's a throwback video for you.

"I Wish" Skee-Lo (1995)

Don't act like you don't know every word to this! I fell out when he walked by that fountain in Leimert Park because it reminded me of the opening credits of Moesha.

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Foxy gets the ol' heave-ho at Power 105

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Foxy Brown is at it again and I've stopped being surprised at these antics. This time, Foxy stopped through at New York City's Power 105 to do an interview with DJs Egypt and Ashy Larry. Whenever they asked her a question about things of interest (her court cases, album release, etc.), the feisty rapper irritably dodged the questions. Upon a minor blow-up amongst the three, Larry asked Egypt if he should leave the room, to which Egypt replied, "No... Foxy, you can leave the room. Thank you for joining the show." Snap!

Click here to listen to Foxy and the DJs getting into it.

(spotted over at The.Life)

She needs to take this act on the road. Erin and I think she and Naomi Campbell should team up to do a mixtape. Foxy will rap and Naomi will talk shit like the British chick on that Total song "I Tried".

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'I got that new OJ, playa! I know you want this, playa!'

LOS ANGELES -- O.J. Simpson's scuttled book about the hypothetical murder of his ex-wife appeared for sale on the Internet on Wednesday, attracting bids of $1,500 within the first two hours.

The controversial book and a two-part television interview were dropped by media conglomerate News Corp. on Monday after a public outcry from advertisers, booksellers and relatives of the dead.

News Corp had said it was recalling and would destroy all copies of the book, "If I Did It," that were shipped to retailers in advance of publication on Nov 30.

But a copy of the book, touted as an imaginary account of how Simpson would have killed ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman in 1994, was being offered on eBay on Wednesday from a seller in Texas.

"Up for auction is the authentic "IF I DID IT" book by OJ Simpson," the seller said in an eBay posting.

"Whether you think he is guilty or not a jury of his peers found him innocent, so who are we to judge. Anyway I received a true copy of this book, did not read it, do not want to read it, but want to sell it," the posting added.

Two hours after being posted, the book had received 40 bids, the highest at $1,500.

The book appeared on eBay two days after another posting on the site by someone eager to track down a copy, and a posting by someone trying to sell the e-mail address OJ.IDidit@gmail.com. The seller described it as an e-mail "to profit from the resurrected OJ craze."

The former football star and TV pitchman has always maintained his innocence and was acquitted in 1995 of charges he committed the bloody June 1994 murders.

But a civil court jury in 1997 found him liable for the deaths and awarded the victims' families $33.5 million in damages, which Simpson has vowed never to pay voluntarily. Little of the judgment has ever been collected.

The taped interview, also ditched this week by News Corp, was expected to find its way in some form to the Internet. Popular video site YouTube on Wednesday had several spoof and satirical amateur videos on the topic but no authentic tape.

(Washington Post)

A hot ass mess! This just proves to me that bootleggers don't fuck around. If they want your shit, the streets WILL be seeing it, whether or not the publisher/label/production company wants you to or not.

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Ayo fam, what up? It's the Doughboy with the creamy center coming in your eyes live from the Hip Hop Soda Shop in Harlem. I'm in New York this week acting like i'm the hood Ted Koppel trapped in Vietnam. There's it's a WARZONE and i'm trying not to get caught in it. I was just threatened by some buster at the legendary Fat Beats, talkin about how she's gonna expose me on the Hot 97 Summer Jam screen. She finally gave me my damn Thin Mints while sucking her buck teeth and moved her little Girl Scout tail on down 125th. Damn! Let's start off with this week's big winners.

The biggest winner without a doubt has to be The Game. JT put up big first week numbers for The Doctor's Advocate selling a massive 380,000 copies. After everything homeboy's been through and all the flop talk G-Unit stans were spitting, The Game can rest easy as Santa will at the very least deliver a gold record under his tree this Christmas. Watch out Butterfly Saints, if the Game posts a hip hop drop of 50% or more he will end up racking an "L". Real talk.

Another big winner this week is none other than the dirty pirate himself, Jimmy Jones. Jones recently got at jigga with a little help from Dame Dash on that diss track "Kingdom Done". Jigga fired back with some subliminals and a lukewarm freestyle on Hot 97. He came at him properly with the diss "Brooklyn High" with jigga doing what he does with the damn thing and flippin a nigga's beat and riding it like Bill Maher on Karrine Steffans. Unfortunately, the diss itself was flat out wack. Jim knew he was winning so he threw jigga's verse on his response and tore Jigga a new one with his tag team partner in crime Juelz Santana. He threw some shots at Nas and threw a little fire onto this beef. Above all with a hot single and mad respect, it's hard to say Jim Jones is doing anything but BALLLLLINNNN.

Our last winner of the week is none other than my dog Jamie Foxx. Let me tell you something about Jamie dog. Gets to mack on both Jennifer Hudson AND Beyonce in Dreamgirls, feels up on Oprah and brings down the house during the American Music Awards with his jaw droppin performance of "I Wish You Were Here". He slam dunked all of the hate and downlow rumors and flushed them down the toilet for the time being. When a Dreamgirls superfan came on the Oprah show and Jamie let him freak out over Beyonce. When the fan turned to him, he gave him a hand shake and let him know he needed to take that down a level. Slow down J, you're killin em. Killin em.

And now what you've been waiting for! THE LOSSES!

The first loss of the week goes to Michael Richards. Kramer, what are you doing fam? You just can't walk around on stage and toss out the big Klan card and then retract it when Jesse Jackson leaves you an ignant voicemail. You stick to your conferderate pistols Mr. Richards. I'll support you for keeping it real dog. In the day and age when racism is undercover and candid it's slightly refreshing to see a man just outright cuss some niggas out.

*Everything in the soda shop stops.*

Homeboy in the back: "Tha Fuck You Just Say?"

I'm just fuckin with y'all. You lost whitebread. The Laugh Factory issued a lifetime ban on Richards so i doubt there will be a makeup performance. Tough Break.

Next big loser has to be the Jigga man. Droppin weak verses is one thing. Appearing on Ellen is aight too. But being outright SONNED by ESPN's music director for Monday Night Football is just an outright shame man. The Jigga Man made an appearence in the booth on Monday Night Football and as they went to break, Jim Jones' "We Fly High" started playing. SONNED! Don't be mad Jigga, the whole world is too busy BALLLLLINNNN.

A loser that's no stranger to this side of the field is Kevin Federline. Sure dude is homeless and getting those checks like the ho he is. But he truely, genuinely messed up when he left ol girl Shar Jackson. Sure he knocked the girl up but DAYUM, shorty is just fine. I just wanted to post that picture of Shar.

In this week's "U Mad?" section goes out to none other than white people. White people converged together than joined forces with the powers that be (FOX News) to DENY the boy OJ Simpson his time in the sun to do one last touchdown dance in the end zone with his If I Did It Book and TV Special combo. I personally was looking forward to it because i always wanted to see what a voluntary confession would look like. But naw. White people are still mad that ya boy OJ is still walking free and they weren't about to let him cake off of his success either. I already had my If I Did It: The Mixtape copies and ready to sell. White people, U Mad???

This once again concludes another vital episode of the Ghetto Stock Market Report. Remember, if you see a nigga losin right on the street, rub some soil in his eyes and shout "TOUGH BREAK" to make it that much better. Peace in Trina's Yeast!

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Blind Item of the Year.

In my other blog, ONTD there is a blind item that everyone is going nuts about. It's a long read but you should read it.

"Let me preface this post, by saying that if this story ever comes out, it would blow the music world up and shake it to its core..This would put the Milli Vanilli scandal and Ashlee Simpson SNL situation so far down the ladder it would be crazy..."

"Towards the end of last year I had a woman come into my office and she began to explain what she had done and had been doing for several years and it was one of the very few times that I just could not believe what I was hearing..I know the music industry inside and out, and I had never heard of something so extensive and pervasive as this..

This woman (S) came into my office because the payments she had been receiving had stopped and she wanted to either get the money that was owed to her, or expose what she had been doing to the light of day..

S is a sessions/studio/backup singer and is very good..Prior to her involvement in what I am going to describe, she made a very good living singing on commercials and being a backup singer for groups and other solo acts, etc..Like I said she is very good, but she does not really have that "look" which would make her a star, so record companies did not put her out front, but just used her talents..

In late 2000, a man came to her one day and said he needed someone to record some demos because he had written a lot of songs, but wanted a demo to shop the songs to singers and record labels..This is not unusual at all and she had done this type of work before and it paid pretty well so she agreed. What was unusual about her recording of the demos was how much work was put into the actual recordings..It was extensive..Generally there is not much time put into the recordings because you never really know if the song will even sell, and the money spent on recording could be put to better uses..These demos she was recording were actually being treated as if they were going to be released on a CD or to radio..They even did some mixing which was REALLY unusual..

After a few weeks she had recorded about over a dozen songs and she went on her way and was really oblivious to anything else pertaining to it, UNTIL several months later she was in her car and heard her voice coming from the radio, only it was another singer being given credit..(We will call this other singer MV for Milli Vanilli) She could not believe what she was hearing and did not know whether to be excited to hear herself on the radio, confused about the credit given to another singer or just pissed off for the same reasons..

What she did do, was to call the man who had originally come to her and had her record the songs..The man agreed to meet her and gave her a substantial sum of money and promised to keep giving her money every month as long as she kept her mouth shut. MV was taking off..(MV has/had several Top 40 songs and CD's. They could have gone to #1 or languished in the 30's..I really cannot go into much more detail or else it would be too easy to discover) MV was everywhere..on television, radio, awards shows, commercials..EVERYWHERE..meanwhile, S continued to get money every month and kept her little secret to herself..The guy who picked S was VERY lucky..Most singers would have caused a fuss, but S has always been in the background and was resigned to the fact she always would be, and was very happy just taking the $$, and did not want that to stop..

About 9 months go by and S is called by the guy because MV is going on tour and they want S to record some extra mixes and such for the tour..She agrees and does not really do much, but money is money..

Fast forward another year or so and S stops receiving money and after a few months of missed payments, calls the guy who explains that they need S to do another CD and then the payments can continue, but there is no more money unless she does more recordings..

S agrees and records another CD worth of songs which is released several months later and does even better than the first CD. This same process is repeated (I am not going to tell you the number of CD's because again you may be able to deduce and so I will just say the process repeated itself several times)

Well everything goes well for the most part for all these years and then no more payments, and no more calls and she cannot even locate our mystery man..S has not received a payment in six months when she came into my office and related this story..She did not even know the guy's name, but when she described him, I knew who he was and was even more floored than I had been previously..This was just something I had really not heard before..

I had heard of really altering voices in the recording studios and bringing in hired hands for one song or a large portion of a song, but never CD after CD and even doing extra work so a live performance would not sound staged..I told her I needed some time to check into her story and then we could proceed..It took two calls before I got the guy on the phone and he was pissed, scared, angry, threatening, remorseful..everything..It turns out the reason he had stopped making payments was he had been playing some shell games with the money between the record company, MV's earnings and MV's investments and just did not have any additional money..In addition, MV was not sure she wanted to continue on with what had been happening and so our mystery guy might be completely out of the picture..

I actually think the record company to this day has no idea what went on as the Guy was very good at what he does/did and knew how to make sure the record company was always happy..He stayed under budget, toured, made MV available, and made the record company money..

So a meeting was arranged in my office and S and MV finally met face to face..they had never done so, even though it was S who made MV a star..MV was rude to say the least when she saw what S looked like and it really upset me although S being her normal classy self could have cared less..

What we agreed to do that day was to provide S with one lump sum rather than a monthly income which was easier for Guy to pull off and S also agreed to never disclose her role in this drama and MV was on her own for future recordings and tours..

This involved literally millions of CD's and hundreds of concerts all over the world..The one thing I did get out of this beside my fee of course is a Gold Record autographed by S and by MV..I know it is the only one in the world.."

For people that didnt read all of that this is the summary:
its a real life milli vanilli situation again with a female artist. the original singer was being paid off for continuing to do it. the fake singer has sold millions of cds and had hundreds of concerts worldwide."


Someone on ONTD was also nice enough to make up a timeline for us:


- LATE 2000 is when the real singer was approached to record the demos. That means anything that was released was probably in 2001.

- The fake artist has appeared in commercials and at award shows.

- The fake artist did not sing back-up as far as the article states. The REAL artist sang back-up before this whole thing went down. Thus there's no sense in looking for artists who have sang back-up.

- The fake artist has "several top 40 songs/CDs." However, that means they have done this in a short amount of time, since 2001ish.

- The fake artist went on tour "about nine months" after the first single was played on the radio. This means that the first single probably came out roughly sometime the first quarter of 2001, and the fake artist probably did a tour either very late 2001 or early 2002.

- Another year goes by before the real singer quits receiving money. This would put us at about early 2003.

- So in about early 2003 she agrees to record another CD, which is released "several months later" and does better than the first CD. This means it has to be an artist who released their first CD in about 2001, started gaining popularity, then was popular enough that their second CD, when released in early/mid-2003, was a big success.

- The artist has released at least one more CD, perhaps more, since the second CD was released in 2003.

- Apparently it's just recently that the fake artist has to be "on their own" since "years past" after the second CD, so it's unlikely we'd even notice that we haven't heard anything from that artist in a while yet.

- The artist had a Gold Record.


- Anyone who released anything or gained fame before 2001.

- Anyone who did not release their second, more successful CD in 2003.

- Anyone with less than three CDs.

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Throwback Requests.

Good morning all! I have some throwbacks to post and i'm doing them early because I'm about to head to Mobile, Alabama for the Thanksgiving Holidays.

Amil Ft. Beyonce - I Got That. Venise, you were wondering if Jay-Z and Bey were messing around then? That's a good question because I think I read somewhere that she met him on set of a video and some people on the internet have been saying that they think it was this video too.

Missy Elliot Feat. Timbaland, Magoo & 702 -Beep Me 911. This one goes out to Kenva. Damn this song went hard! I forgot about this. I wish Missy went back to this.

If you have a request e-mail us at ahotmessblog@gmail.com

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More from the AMAs

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Beyoncé: "Let me fix my hurr."

Jamie Foxx's fake fade is lined up a lot better for this event.

Mary J. Blige

Chris Brown looks awkward.

Chingy pulled off a similar look much better.

The Game

Raven just can't get it right.

But then again, neither can her Cheetah Girls groupmates.

Tyrese, or is it Black Ty?

I have a crush on JoJo, but sadly she's younger than my little brother.

Did Sean Paul and Frankie J coordinate before the awards?

Gwen Stefani looking like Fey Somers with some guy. Oh right, that's husband Gavin Rossdale.

Isaiah Washington and his wife

Brian McKnight is still around?

Dem Franchize Boyz

I'm not crazy about Nelly Furtado's bangs.

Flav showing the crowd how close his second 15 minutes are to being over.

Carmen Electra is off.

At least Chamillionaire had the sense not to smile.

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Beyoncé at the American Music Awards

Wow. Beyoncé is stunning. There's no other way to put it. Look at the dude in the background in that last picture. LMAO! My thoughts exactly. Our very own That One saw B in person the other day and apparently she's even better looking in the flesh. Hard to believe, I know!

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Who are you again?!

Brooke Crittenden, the former trophy girl/beard to Kanye West, is in this month's Vibe Vixen talking bold about her purported role in the industry. Crittenden, who got the boot from 'Ye after bragging about her relationship with him on a Myspace blog (ouch), is determined to keep it moving, because she is, in her words, a "star" after all. Some hilarious quotes from the interview with this MTV assistant (no lie)...

On the possibility of sucking more dick for fame dating another celebrity:
"Stars gravitate towards each other," she said. "And I'm way too dynamic not to be with someone who isn't a star."
(Twenty bucks says Bill Maher scoops her up)

On the haters hatin' on her when she's doin' big thangs:
"It's hurtful when people say, 'I wish I could've seen her face when she saw [West] and his fiancée at the Video Music Awards'… Why would you say that? Why is everyone happy to see me suffer."
(I defy her to give me the names of two people who said this)

On being a star:
"I was working with Nivea and she asked me, 'What do you do?' I said, Nothing. Her manager told me, 'From now on, tell people you're in the industry and you're a star.' From that moment on, that's exactly what I did."
(Not to be mean but I don't think Nivea's manager is the best person to be asking for advice on this subject)


This is just ridiculous. She better be glad I found this after I did my "Ho, sit down" with Bow Wow last week. Soon she will be Eye Candy in XXL, cover girl for King and co-hosting "Student Center" on BET. Ah, as the world turns, the cycle of talentess pretty chicks continues...

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